


I never wanted to need you

by llBlankPagell



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: All my babies will be loved, Asexual Character, Cancer, Cloak of Levitation (Marvel), FLash Thompson knows, Fluff, Gen, Had this idea at 3am, I'll explain don't worry, I'm Sorry, Kinda?, M/M, Mature Themes Later On, Peter just wants to help but dosn't know how, Poor Peter Parker, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, eventually, no beta we die like men, poor Flash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:55:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22961299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llBlankPagell/pseuds/llBlankPagell
Summary: “Gene want to come over tomorrow! Ant May said it was fine as long as your dad said it was ok.”Flash wanted to say yes, but his father needed him home.“Oh.. That's ok maybe next time!Peter was still smiling at him.“Hey Gene wanna come over for dinner?”He always smiled...“Gene what about a sleepover?”Flash wanted to kiss him like he always saw aunty May and uncle Ben kiss, but Flash knew it wasn’t right. Peter wasn’t like that.“Gene where did you get the black eye from?”Flash really wanted to stay happy for Peter sake.“Eugene you’re really scaring me…”Until one day Flash couldn’t do it anymore and he hurt Peter.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Flash Thompson, Tony Stark & Flash Thompson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope people like this!

September 24th 2013

This is my first entry and wow… I can’t believe I'm doing this. Lets just say if anyone found my journal I would have to change my name and move schools no matter what my father would say or do to me. So I guess this would be the part where I would write down everything that happened today- or y’know these past couple 10 years. Now I’m gonna say this- write this right now. If you are reading this and this is not me aka the one who wrote this- stop reading. This is a self pitying unhappy journal and if you want to ruin my life even more then it is unfair now well then you might as well just pull the trigger right now. I guess that's it because I don’t think I can write anymore today.

Flash-

Flash knew he had… Issues he is impulsive has some time management issues, really bad anxiety and maybe a little bit of a narcissist at times but come on who isn't. But the thing is people think he is stuipid and not only when it comes to himself. Which pisses him off and people think he doesn't know what people really think of him so he gets angry. Really, really angry. He tries to keep it in, but sometimes he just… can’t. He gets nervous a lot and that probably registers as anger towards others around him and just gets him worked up. Peter Parker makes him the most anxious out of all of them. What he found out what flash was, what if he found out flash new what he was who spiderman was… and what if he already knew? Just waiting for the right moment to-

“Flash! Are you paying attention? I have been calling your name for 2 minutes already and this is the third time this class. You have earned yourself a detention meet me after school.” Flash didn’t bother even trying to argue and just nodded there was no point. Out of the corner of his eye though he saw Peter give him a stare that made Flash feel sick. No one should look at him like that let alone Peter Parker. A look of empathy that almost looks as though Peter just wants to hug him, and all of a sudden Flash really was going to be sick.  
“Excuse me- I ugh actually don’t really feel well.” Flash could feel his stomach turning, stomach acid burning his throat. All Mrs. Fields did was sigh with annoyance clear in her voice. “Flash you cannot just disrupt my class and claim you’re sick when-” And Flash didn’t care what she was going to say after ‘He wasn’t going to make a fool of himself like this.’ 

Flash quickly stood up and raced to the bathroom before he lost the only amount of dignity he had left. He vaguely heard his former best friend's voice echoing throughout his head.  
“Gene want to come over tomorrow! Ant May said it was fine as long as your dad said it was ok.” 

Flash wanted to say yes, but his father needed him home.

“Oh.. That's ok maybe next time! 

Peter was still smiling at him.

“Hey Gene wanna come over for dinner?”  
He always smiled...

“Gene what about a sleepover?”

Flash wanted to kiss him like he always saw aunty May and uncle Ben kiss, but Flash knew it wasn’t right. Peter wasn’t like that.

“Gene where did you get the black eye from?”

Flash really wanted to stay happy for Peter sake.

“Eugene you’re really scaring me…”

Until one day Flash couldn’t do it anymore and he hurt Peter. He was turning into his father.

Flash vomited the little food he had in his stomach and luckily didn’t have to worry about anyone hearing him as there was no one else in there with him. At least until he heard someone call his name. Flash was shaking uncontrollably trying to stop gagging as well as keep breathing. Flash felt a hand on his shoulder then start rubbing his back soothingly. 

“S-Stop please stop touching me.” Touch was too much. The touch was too soft and Flash can’t handle it right now without turning into a puddle, but now actually looking at Peter... “G- Flash… Do you feel better now?” Flashes head lolled to the left almost smacking his head off the toilet. Feeling a bit dazed and out of it Flash instinctively went out to grab Peters hand like when they were little. At the time it never meant anything but for some reason in that moment to Flash at least it meant the whole world to him. Peter seemed to light up like a christmas tree but didn’t pull away. “Flash.” Peter once again spoke but softer this time with a hit of something Flash couldn’t place. 

Flash just shook his head and his eyes started to water. He didn’t know why he was crying he just felt… Flash didn’t know what he felt. It just felt better to cry even when Peter was still kneeling in front of him a worried expression on his face. Still holding his hand. A small sob seemed to escape his lips and that made Peter act. Throwing himself towards his ex childhood best friend wrapping his arms around Flash coddling him like a baby. Peter didn’t think Flash minded though and Flash never said anything about it so Peter didn’t stop. 

Flash new this encounter wasn’t going to fix them, wasn’t even going to make them friends again. But it was a start and Flash was going to cherish this moment for the rest of his short and quickly deteriorating life. Before Flash has to say goodbye to Peter forever and never gets to tell him he’s sorry.

So fucking sorry he had to go fall in love with him, Peter fucking Parker A.K.A fucking Spider-Man.


	2. Carry On Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flash grabbed the child that was stark still and wide eyed and hid the boys face in his chest rubbing his back like Peter did for him just days ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how most of this stuff really works but its a story soooo... :/   
> Hope you enjoy! I also didn't really notice how OOC I was going to make Flash but...

October 9th 2020

It’s been almost 3 years since I last wrote in this god forsaken ‘diary’ and even reading the past entries always seems to make me cringe. Yet here I am again now starting my journal again because I need to vent about Peter Parker. About a week ago the ‘you know what thing happened.’ Peter and I haven't spoken about it and he didn’t seem to tell anyone else either so all I can do is hope. Peter’s been staring at me more obviously since last week and I can’t handle it right now. Stage 2: cancer cells have entered my bloodstream. I was recommended to do chemotherapy 2 months ago. I’m really scared.

\- Flash 

Flash just wanted to get some ice cream from the local corner store. A classic vanilla ice cream in a waffle cone yeah it was october and getting cold outside but come on. So while Flash was listening to music looking through the fridges for something to drink he didn’t notice the two men walk in with masks each with a gun. Flash simultaneously heard an ear piercing scream along with a gunshot and quickly spun around. A gun was pointed between his eyes and Flash forced himself to breath. “Sit over there.” The man growled shoving him over to one of the chairs being sold beside a little boy looking no older than 10. 

Flash did as he was told and curled up into himself while in the chair and closed his eyes ‘Spider-Man will save them, he always does.’ “You’re really pissing me off lady!” The man threatening the cashier snapped and the man closest to Flash aimed at his face and fired. The little boy screamed but Flash wasn't in pain he felt fine. 

A spider's web came out of nowhere and relieved that man of his gun. Flash grabbed the child that was stark still and wide eyed and hid the boys face in his chest rubbing his back like Peter did for him just days ago. Flash watched as Peter jumped around knocking out the two gunmen in no time at all. “You guys okay?” Peter sounded strained trying to keep his voice happy and upbeat. “Sorry I wasn't here sooner.” Flash stayed quiet for a moment refusing to look at Peter in the eyes. “It’s fine, you’re here now right?” Peter nodded stiffly and turned to cashier bawling in the corner of the shop. 

Flash lifts the child's head up to look in his eye and said “You go home to your parents alright. You don’t need to be here when the cops come.” The child nods and hugs Flash one last time and bolts out of the store. Flash waits for the police to come no longer bothering to listen to his music when he felt like he got whiplash from the events of today. The women's sobbs finally died down and a few minutes later the police came marching in. They questioned Flash, Peter and the cashier for half an hour and finally let them leave since it was pretty obvious and there was video footage of the incident. Flash finally got to leave and bought himself his vanilla cone and started heading home. A cool breeze wiped past him, a blur of red and blue landed beside him. “Hello!” Flash could hear the smile Peter was trying to give to him.

“Hi.” Flash replied stiffly shoving the ice cream in his mouth so he didn’t have to say anything else. Flash just wanted to die of embarrassment. Peter was a hero god damn it! Flash was not good enough, he’s wasting away as it is. Peter was good. “You don’t seem as shaken as people usually are.” Peter said way too casually for Flash’s liking. Flash nodded and tried to think of something to say to stay off this conversation. He trusted his ice cream towards Peter and asked “do you want some?” He finally looks at Peter and realizes he's still technically Spider-Man at the moment. “I- uh- sorry that was probably weird…” Peter honest to god giggled making Flash flush cherry red. “You’re sweet, but... “ pointing at his mask he adds “Thanks for the offer though. I gotta go but I hope to see you later in better circumstances.” Peter gives him a two fingered salute and swings off. Flash assumed he went back to his house. 

The next day Flash checked into the nearby hospital for two of his four monthly checkups. Flashes usual doctor named Dr. Smith was the only one Flash would see. He refused to see any other one. He didn’t want to be pitied anymore then he had to. 

Dr. Smith walked into the room and did his normal bedside routine asked how he was doing and how his family was doing. Flash always replied with the same words “I’m doing fine, my dads doing the same as always.” and Smith always nods and pretends to look at his notes again. Smith takes out his stethoscope and puts it to Flash’s chest. Flash shutters at the cold stethoscope and breathes with the doctor like he always does. 

“Is there any pain?” Flash hesitates for a moment and tells him. Smith knew about Flash and why he was hesitant to reveal any weaknesses about himself and at first it was a really big problem. Lying to your doctor was not okay and Smith didn’t understand at first why Flash lied about his pain when he clearly was. “Yes, but it’s not bad. Just… lingering… and my chest is a bit sensitive.” Smith nodded and slowed Flash’s worries.

“That's normal just be sure to tell me if it gets bad again and we can get a refill on your pain medication. Tell me if any of the pain gets worse when I put pressure on a certain place.”

Smith put light pressure all over Flash’s chest and made sure nothing is more in pain then the rest and Smith finally finished the examination. As Flash was putting his shirt back on Smith speaks again. “You really should think about doing chemotherapy Mr.Thompson the longer you wait the more complication could arise.” Of course Flash knew he was right, but Flash also knew the complications it could kill and slow growth of healthy blood cells cause mouth sores, nausea, and hair loss. Yeah maybe most of those things aren't as bad as cancer, but it didn’t make Flash any less terrified. 

“C-Can I give you an answer next week.” Smith nods and gives him a pat on the back. “Think about it.” 

Flash checks out and heads home for the rest of the day. Flash didn’t think he could do this by himself any longer. There was just too much pain to bear by himself. 

He just didn’t want to be alone anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters will get longer so don't worry bout that.


End file.
